Yeah, that's me.....

Seems like everything that I try to do anymore doesn't turn out the way that it's supposed to or the way that I want it to. Having more problems with my car. Seems like we're getting back to the same problems at work. Back to not getting paid. Getting talk about how I'm going to pay the company back for the motor that's going in my car....

Everything is just frustrating.....

Sorry, nothing more in depth tonight. I know it's been a while too, but these are just my frustrated thoughts and that's what the blog is for right?

1 More Week?

Well, I finally have some happy news to report. It seems like I may be able to mark 2 items off of my list of goals for the year soon! First, the letter to the boss went over well. I was scared for him to read it, not knowing how he would take it. But he took it VERY well, to the point that he actually thanked me and admitted that he needed to make some big changes. Part of the letter was telling him that I needed my car back on the road. Tonight I went out to the shop to work on it and with his help, we now have my new engine in my car. I'm thinking that by the end of the week I may be able to have it rollin!!!! (knock on wood) So, needless to say, I'm pretty stoked.
Another thing, I got home and found that 2 sets of my Giants tickets came in the mail today. That would actually make 3 big strides towards completing my goals.

Where will I be next week?

Well, I'm going to keep this one short. I'm leaving a letter for the boss today explaining all of my worries to him. We'll see how he takes it. One side of him will take it to heart and try to make a change. The other side will of him will feel like I'm attacking him. Hope that things go well, and I'm going to take this as a completion of one of my goals for the year: Find or Create happiness at work. This is my attempt to create it by remotivating him. If things don't go well, I may be gone and be looking for work elsewhere. If some of you have ideas for me that I may be able to jump into if things go bad, please let me know.

Looking....

So it got to the point today that I went on monster.com and started looking at different jobs that were available. The reason? Who else....the boss. Plan for today was, as I found out on Saturday, was to go out and tune 3 cars out at the dyno in Hillsboro at 10am. I call him at 9:30 to make sure that he's up and rolling because I know that he's likely not running on time. Sure enough, he was at home eating breakfast. I was a little surprised that he was actually up however. But still, there is no way he's getting to Hillsboro from his house in 30 minutes if he's still eating breakfast. So the scenario that is about to take place is that everybody else will be there waiting for him....like always. I go out at about 10:30 to grab the mail at the post office. He calls me freaking out asking where I am because he had tried calling the shop. He tells me that there is a problem where they were going to do the tuning so they can't do it today. So he comes into the shop around 11am. He decides that him and the welder are going to drive up to Seattle to pick up a motorcycle that the welder was wanting to buy. I'm thinking that it's stupid and they should have done it during the weekend, or wait until next weekend, but at this point I don't really care anymore. A little while later, he's on his cell phone, comes past my desk and grabs the keys off of it for the Tribeca that I've been driving, and head out to take off for Seattle without saying anything. I still have all of my baseball gear in the car because I had no idea that he would be taking it. And if any of you have seen this thing, you would know that it's not a vehicle that is to be hauling motorcycles in the back seat. So at that point I started looking at other jobs. Not sure if I'm going to start posting for anything, but I have been driven to the point of looking.

Plans are Set!!

So I just finished ordering tickets for the Giants vs Mariners series in June. 3 Games, $450......better see a friggin homer this time. For one of the games I got seats right behind home plate so I'm hoping that's the night. This could be the beginning of completing my goals. If Bonds hits one out, that's takes one off the list. Then I would be so excited I couldn't stop running around and screaming, so that would take care of the working out part. I also accidently got an extra set of tickets for the Sunday game, so if the game sells out and starts to grow in interest because of Bonds's possible last game in the northwest, I could sell it on ebay and start paying of the debt. Who knows......but I'm finally excited for the first time in a while.
Heading up to Seattle today for a car show. One of the cars that we finally finished at work is going up there and just got all of it's decals on, so I need to go up and take pictures. Should be fun.

ND's

Have any of you ever had a day where you're not really wasting the day away, but it just feels like you're just going through motions? I'm seeming to have one of those days. I sit here, still taking care of some work, but I feel like I'm just a robot. No drive today, no desire today, no feeling. Therefore, I've come up for a new name for these types of days. They are now Novocain Days. Come to think of it, it's kinda been a Novocain Week for me.
I've also been thinking alot recently about where my life is heading, as you may have seen from my previous posts (for those of you that actually read them). Wondering if I'm going in the right direction. If I'm taking full advantage of the opportunities that have been given to me. If I'm wasting time walking down a dead end street. I would assume that I'm NOT taking full advantage if I'm having ND's. But to that, one person can only work so hard for so long, and always come in the next day to be disappointed; it sucks the life out of you.
I want to list out a few of my goals that I'm thinking about off the top of my head right now, because there is really no direction with this post, so lets keep it that way. It would be great to accomplish these by the end of the year, and I hope that by posting these, you readers out there can help keep me on the path to completing them.
1. Start working out
2. Move out
3. Pay off my debt
4. See Barry Bonds hit a homerun in person
5. Find or Create happiness in my job
6. Get my car back on the road
7. Become more organized
8. ???
Respond with some possible recommendations. You all know me. You may see something in my life that needs work that maybe I can't see or that I just forgot. Please, bring it to my attention.

Don't tell me you don't like the Giants!!

Well, the last couple of days have gotten alot better. Work has been going alright, even though I still haven't been paid. But during the day I take some time out to make sure I do something for my car. It's gotten to the point where I've done everything I currently can on my new motor, so now I'm just painting various different pieces to make it all look good when it's back together.
The other reason things have been going well is that baseball started tonight. As I said before, I really need it right now to keep my sanity, It was so great to be able to get back on the field tonight. I actually made a kid run because he walked up to me and told me he didn't like the Giants. He knew better.....
The Giants are coming to Seattle this year to play a 3 game weekend series against the Mariners. If any of you would like to go, please let me know ASAP. The games are June 16, 17, and 18. Tickets go on sale March 4th so let me know by then.
Also, please do not forget to donate to the "Send Rob to as many Giants games this year as possible Fund."

Posting Notice

The posts that were done before this were to catch all of you up on what I have been posting at another site.

Time to make a change...but will I?

I was sitting down this afternoon enjoying a nice piece of pepperoni pizza and reading the newspaper when I came across an article about people getting burned out at work. It caught my interest because this is exactly what was happening to me when I was at Wells Fargo. I knew it. My friends knew it. My boss knew it. I just had no motivation to do anything while I was there. I would stay off the phones as much as possible because I would get sick of talk to people and answering the same stupid questions over and over. The article talked about those people who are higher ups in their company and can't really afford to just leave their jobs and how they should try teaching at a school or volunteering some of their spare time to try and stimulate some satisfaction. I found that this is what I had done while working at Wells Fargo. Not that I was making a huge sum of money, but I was getting paid well enough between actual compensation and bonuses that it made it hard to leave. So I started coaching. Coaching high school baseball is obviously not the most lucrative job, but it was what I needed. Each one of us has that certain something that no matter what is going on in our lives, it will just calm us down. Mine happens to be baseball. Coaching is what helped me survive so long at Wells Fargo. It wasn't until they weren't going to adjust my schedule so that I could coach that I decided that the time had come for me to leave.
Now, being here at GPMoto, I don't quite feel like I'm burned out. Actually, I may be, just not quite to the extreme as I was at Wells Fargo. I hated going to work every morning when I worked there. Here, I enjoy it for the most part. The article said that people get burned out when they try doing too much with too little. I think that is where I'm heading. I am basically put in the position to almost run this shop, but I don't have the skills to do so myself. The thing that tops it off, I'm not really sure that I have the leadership to help me obtain those skills either. The article mentions that for those people who are not in a high paying situation, the best option could be just to leave and find work elsewhere. This is what I must ask myself. Are things so bad, that I'm just sitting here on a car headed for a cliff? Am I just waiting things out until they've hit rock bottom? Should I jump from this risk that I have taken so soon? I'm not quite sure I'm ready to do that. The reason I took the job was because there was great opportunity for this to become something huge, and there I would be, sitting on top as the company grew beneath me. That dream is still there. Do I give up on it now or do I fight for it?
I've realized today that I need to make some big changes. The goal for myself right now, and I hope that all of you out there can help me in this, is to be more assertive. I need to stand up for myself. If I don't like how something is going, say something about it. Do more things for myself than only to make others happy. I think sometimes that I try to make others happy so much that I neglect myself. This can't happen anymore. This is not to say that I come before everyone now, but I can't be last all the time. I need more confidence in myself. I have the problem of not thinking highly of myself, just as many others do I'm sure. Is there any reason that I should think this? Of course not. It's obvious that none of you feel like I'm a horrible person. I wouldn't have developed the relationships that I have with each and every one of you if I was. I may not talk to all of you everyday. Maybe I never have or possibly never will call you, but there is something about me that you like, just as there's something about you that I like.
Well, enough of all that. Let me know what you all think. I know that you may not like to post anything. But please do at least send me something if you've read this. Even if it's just to say that you read it and you think I'm a dork, that's fine. Maybe something that you enjoy about me, help me build up my confidence in myself. Anything. You never know if it's your words that could entirely change my life for the better.

Weekend

So, the weekend was pretty good. Friday I was really craving an egg salad sandwich. So Saturday I got up and went and got about a dozen eggs, and some bread, and mayonnaise and all the necessary ingredients. Then I spent about 3 - 3 and a half hours boiling them. And, by the time the eggs were done, I really didn't want the sandwich anymore. So, yeah, I'd say it was a good weekend. (From 40 Year Old Virgin if you haven't seen it)
Seriously though, it was alright. Went to this concert with my brother Saturday night. It was at Mt Tabor Theater and it was SOOOOO friggin cold in there. The music wasn't quite my style (heavy metal), but we knew one of the guys playing. After that, went out and got some bomb mac and cheese with ham in it at Montage. Went back to the shop then to pick up my car and saw that there were still people at the shop. This was around 3am or so. So I want in and find my boss and his brother and brother's girlfriend all inside just getting hammered. So I stuck around for a while to enjoy the show, then came home and passed out.
Getting pretty excited for baseball starting this week. Tryout begin on Friday and then we're off and running. I'll try posting the schedule somewhere on here if any of you would like to come to any of the games and see how cool I look yelling at little freshman.
Bad news came out today. Barry Bonds said that this will be his last season. As some of you know, and all should know, Bonds is my favorite baseball played of all time. I've gone to many games. Driven up to Seattle, down to San Francisco 4 times, and flown to Arizona one, and driven to Arizona once, tring to see him hit a homerun. I still to this day have not seen one in person. The closest I have come was driving down to San Francisco the night he hit his 600th homer, then watching the next two. And I also had tickets for 4 games the next year, but could only go to 2 of them (thanks BEN!!!!!!!!!!!!), and Bonds hit homers in both of the other 2 games. So this is where I ask you, my friends, to donate to the "Send Rob To As Many Giants Games This Year As Possible Fund." Please contact me if you would like to make a donation. You can mail me funds, paypal, give it to me next time you see me, whatever you would like. This is the last chance that I get to see him play in person and it's been a dream of mine. Help make that dream a reality!!!
Well, back to the grind of making copies of all my dvd's so I can sell off the originals. Hope you all have a good week if I don't talk to you at some point!

Better

So things got a little better today. I went into work to again find nobody there, but I was able to get some things done, go deliver some product, and bring in some money. I then had a nice lunch with my mom, then met up with my brother and his girlfriend at this cafe that she works at to just chill and talk about things. It was nice to just kick back in the middle of the day and not have any worries. It was a little promising when I got back to the shop. Boss sounded like there was some pep in him to get things rockin, and looks like I should be seeing a paycheck in the near future.
So I got a good interpretation of my dream the other night:
"When you decided to get on stage and everyone came back and was cheering for you it denotes a way of life. When you first made the decisions that you are living out now, even though you may not have been sure of them, everyone seemed on board and ok with it... so you just kept going. But recently it's as though everything has come crashing down and you have no control and feel like all of thoes people who were once on board with everything almost set you up for feeling the way you do now... much like a fake or a failure. So, at first it upset you that they put you in this place and allowed you to feel like the fake was right, but now you just dont care... you feel nothing because you're so confused you dont' know what to do or feel anymore.
I knew that there had to have been a meaning, and ths makes perfect sense! Thank you!

Smoke on the Water

Well, today I decided that I would try and start blogging more often. Not just to give you all that spend your few minutes reading them a glimpse into my life, but maybe those of you that read it can help answer questions that I may have. It is the later that I ask for now. For the past few weeks I've been a little depressed with things that are going on in my life, both work and home. Earlier this month marked 1 year that I have been at GPMoto, and I looked at what has happened in that last year and where it has gotten me. Perhaps this was the beginning of my depression. I looked back and could only see 1 positive thing that has happened to me; a free trip to Vegas. But what could be so bad about things? Well, my car no longer runs. I haven't had it running since the beginning of July as some of you may know. You could imagine being depressed because the car that you love and still pay a pretty penny for each and every month just sits there at the shop with no engine in it, while other cars come in and out. On top of that, business has not been going well. I won't go too into detail on that, but lets just say that I have an expense report that's about $7k. Third, I still live at home. Depressing in it's own, but just amplified by that fact that my dad has been a complete ass the past few weeks. Doesn't help issues. Last night while sleeping I did something that I hardly ever do; dream. I don't know what it is, but either I hardly ever dream, or I hardly ever remember them. When I do remember them though, they are weird. I've been wondering all day if this dream though is trying to tell me something about my real life. I can't see how it could, but I know that some people out there like to really dig into the deeper meaning of dreams. So if there are any of you out there, here is what happened. I was at some concert with my buddy Michael (who has been having some problems of his own, maybe a clue?). Anyways, tons of people were there. The show ends and people start to leave. I look over at Michael and say to him, "Let's see if I can make them think I'm Bruce Springsteen and see if they'll come back." Well of course, since it was my dream and my idea, he thought it would be cool. So we get up on stage, I grab a guitar, and think about what I could play. Well, I don't play guitar, but I come to the conclusion that I could play Smoke on the Water, at least the first few notes. I start playing and people start to come back. I play the same notes over and over, and people start coming and going crazy. I'm Bruce Springsteen! So we finish playing, and I wake up. I wasn't quite ready to get up yet, so I go back to sleep. When I get back to sleep, I'm backstage and Sammy Hagar is there. Why he's there, I have no clue. I don't hate his music, but I'm not the biggest fan either. I basically know of him. So anyways, he's there and he looks pissed. I soon realize that I was playing his song. Which in fact it's not by neither him nor Springsteen, but Deep Purple. So I stand there and explain to Sammy that I was just trying to see if I could bring the people back to the stage because I thought it would be funny. He finally saw the humor in it and decided that all of us should go out there and perform again. So we go out there, and now all the people know that I'm a fake and start booing me and throwing things at me. End of the dream. So I spent a few minutes during the day wondering about this dream. Why would I have this dream? Why would it make no sense to me? Well, after work today I decided to go to the Glencoe basketball game just to kick back and not think about anything for a few hours. Well, in the middle of the game, what do you think happens???? The band starts to play Smoke on the Water. Is somebody trying to tell me something? Is it nothing? Am I just completely psycho now that I should go check myself into a clinic? This is where I hope some of you come in. Please give me your thoughts.